Birth plan, body pillow, camera...

... and lube.

Probably not a good start...

 

 ...so let's hope she isn't doing the EDUCATING

He loves you. He loves you not. He loves you....

 

... but he might cut you.

Love your pet...

... just not like this. (gag)

Threesome Epic FAIL

When it comes to certain things, you just can't afford to fail this hard.

You must suck in bed when...

... this happens.
Sure he's a sexist... and I'm sure you're not easy.

(double feature pt. 2) Do Not Try This At Home...

Question is: Why would anyone try this? *insert vomit face*

(double feature pt. 1) Do Not Try This At Home...

Why would anyone try this? Did she also try wearing a diaper?

May cause blindness...

Can someone explain to me how this could even cross someone's mind as a danger? 

What could possibly happen? You're child will turn blue? Animated? Blind? WHAT THE HELL?!?

Ice, Ice, Baby...

I don't know, OP... Maybe you should hand the baby a coat through your vag.

I'm afraid to know what she asked when drinking tea or eating soup. Good lord.

Poop Vs. Tobacco poisoning...

.... Something tells me if you can't figure out which one is worse, then you shouldn't have had kids. Or at least Googled. (like every other doctor on BBC)
(Thanks to a follower for the submission!)

World of Warcraft & Anal sex

 

I'm not sure what one has to do with the other but this post is full of strange & fail.

Some people look forward to taking their kids to the park. Some take them to Disney. Some even put them in Baby Yoga.  

The hot new trend: Dress them as your WoW character.

Get the fire extinguisher

 

It's like the 4th of July in your baby's crib.

No problem... Right?

(Thanks for a follower for the submission. Submit one at babycenterfails@gmail.com)

You know your MIL hates you when...

 

I don't know what makes me more sad. The fact that the OP believed what her MIL said or that her MIL hates her enough to play on the OP's gullible-ness.